You Consume These Horrible Sounding Chemicals Every Day

It’s time to block off a lot of time from work and call all your chemistry teacher friends, cause you’re about to do a lot of drugs. In fact, you are gonna have to do every substance on this list today or you will die.

rentinol
retinal
retinoic acid
retinyl palmitate
alpha-carotene
beta-carotene
beta-cryptoxanthin
gamma-carotene
thiamine
riboflavin
niacin
niacinamide/nicotinamide
pantothenic acid
pyridoxine
pyridoxamine
pyridoxal
biotin
folate / folic acid
folinic acid
cyanocobalamin
hydroxycobalamin
methylcobalamin
choline
ascorbic acid (yes, [ə.skɔ˞.bɪk])
cholecalciferol
ergocalciferol
alpha-tocopherol
beta-tocopherol
gamma-tocopherol
delta-tocopherol
alpha-tocotrienol
beta-tocotrienol
gamma-tocotrienol
delta-tocotrienol
dl-tocopheryl acetate
phylloquinone / phytomenadione / phytonadione
menaquinone-4 / menatetrenone
alpha-linolenic acid
linoleic acid
docosahexaenoic acid
gamma-linolenic acid
histidine
isoleucine
leucine
lysine
methionine
phenylalanine
threonine
tryptophan
valine

OK, if that’s not enough for you and you still wanna ride the A-train, B-train, or whatever train that took you on, then here are some substances that will make things interesting. Some of them are in fact life-or-death essential, while some of may perhaps be harmful. You’ll have to do more than see long scary chemistry words to find out.

hydrogen dioxide
sodium chloride
dicalcium phosphate
magnesium citrate
silicon dioxide
sodium hydroxide
hydrogen peroxide
ethanol
sodium bicarbonate
potassium sodium tratrate
1,3,7-Trimethylpurine-2,6-dione

The substance on the first list are not actually drugs, but scary sounding chemical names for vitamins. The second list is things like water, salt, sand, alcohol, and caffeine. When you write out the chemical formulas for even the most common and essential compounds, the pile of Neo-Grecolatin rises and felicity flies out the door, leading to ocular dilation, heart palpitations, anxiety, racing thoughts—and delusions of chemical grandeur.

Common names for everything helps, as in the case with caffeine (the only chemical name for it is hugely inaccessible and grossly obtuse), but our relationship with chemistry terms—and jargon in general—needs to change: more education and less usage except in a learning or otherwise clarified environment.

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